Sunday, August 15, 2010

Welcome to Oinky Pig!

This is my first post on my first internet blog.  Many thanks to Su for helping me set up this site.  Who am I kidding?  Many thanks to Su for setting up this site while I watched, awed and dumbfounded, drooling with neanderthalic incomprehension, as she exhibited her considerable prowess in this area.  My computer literacy skills are roughly comparable to Fred Flintstone's.  If you want to see a really professional website, go to her blog at....uh.....I can't remember the name of her site and I'm afraid to navigate away from this page until this pig's proverbial first oink is complete.  Besides, she may not want me to reveal the name of her website to the anticipated throngs of unwashed masses who will follow me to the ends of the earth as their new Internet God. 

So, does anybody feel like going out on the street and selling flowers, and donating the proceeds to yours truly?  I have some delicious gruel cooking on the stove.  If that does not entice you, why don't you let me give you a free personality test?  Bells and drums at the airport?  How about a nice glass of Kool-Aid?  No, really.

I hate italics, he thought.

Speaking as a comic in all seriousness, Oinky Pig is a blog dedicated to universal values of love and compassion, world peace, Dixie cup dispensers, political fulminations, truth, justice and the American Way, a stitch in time saves nine, masking tape, and shameless self-promotion.  It will combine humor, seriousness, truth, lies, propaganda, sex, lies and videotape, a healthy disregard for authority, redundancy, and redundancy.  It will feature writings of various pseudonymic luminaries such as Vladimir Johnson, Ghorbanifar Thomas, and Glenn Beck.  It will contain literary and cinematic reviews by the venerable Delbert Peasprattle, whose immortal review of Godfather II began and ended with the timeless words:

"The rapid sequence in which the still pictures were juxtaposed....gave the impression that they were....actually moving...."

In conclusion, gentle readers, welcome, and happy oinking!